I feel like I’m screaming without sound. There are so many things I should be doing but I can’t manage. I can’t think straight. If my belly wasn’t acting up I’d force myself to go outside.

But I’m also tired of having to fight for everything. I can’t seem to shake this exhaustion. Being this depressed in the summertime is new. As is having a reason even though I know a reason is nonsense.

One minute I couldn’t give a shit about my jobs. The next I’m scared this lack of motivation will cost me my job. Which would mean an extra problem and no structure at all. How do I fix this and where do I find the strenght to fight again to fix it.