not-close-to-straight:

cami-chats:

Editing smut is not only difficult, but weird. 

Real Things I Think While Editing My Porn:

Wait, are their pants unzipped yet?

Why are they still up against the wall?

Alright, rereading that sentence and I feel as if The Dick would have to be flexible as shit to make that position work and let’s face it, flexibility is not a Top Tier Dick Quality

Why can’t I just say “hump” I mean honestly, it’s a perfectly valid word.

How many different ways can I say penis without actually saying penis?

Why is breast such a weird word. Breast. Ew. Why can’t I call them tiddies? Let’s call them tiddies.

Ah good, managed to get the pants down.

Wait, did they take a shower? Brush their teeth? Clean under their fingernails? Should I mention the hygiene or is that weird?

Are they wearing socks? Should I do a moment where they stop to take off socks?

Gag Reflexes are a gross but normal thing, someone needs to gag over that schlong, right?

Is this scene too short? No one wants a minute man amiright?

Some friendly spanking? Yeah. Yeah let’s do some friendly spanking.

Ah yes, the struggle to describe an orgasm with out saying orgasm or ejaculate or bust a nut or creaming themselves.

Oh thank god I made it through the scene. Now what? Post cuddles? Awkward joking? Nah I’ll make them fall asleep really quickly because I fall asleep really quickly post sexy times so that makes it both realistic and hilarious because I’ve been pushed out of bed for it before because it’s “rude” to pass out right after. My bad.

Thank god, the chapter is over, everyone put your clothes back on and let’s get back to the plot.