beka-tiddalik:

queenieeegoldstein:

queenieeegoldstein:

apparently my boss who is a professor at my school doesn’t have a cell phone and his coworkers were upset by this so they bought him a childs toy phone and labeled it “David’s jitterbug” (for those of you that don’t know jitterbugs are phones made for old people that have like massive buttons and shit) so the other day I walked into his office to ask him a question and he pressed a button on it which made it start loudly playing the ABCs and he said “excuse me I have to take this” and then started singing along to the ABCs while shooing me out of his office

this is the phone. he apparently was in the middle of a meeting with the department the other day and got annoyed so he pressed a button, said “I have to take this” and left

David’s co-workers probably: “This is a valid tactic to embarrass him into buying a mobile phone, right?”

David: “Bold of you to assume that I get embarrassed.”

amandagenine:

chromelesbian:

beggars-opera:

refinery29:

This student emailed her philosophy TA after getting her wisdom teeth removed and it’s one for the books

Love you, bye! Read it and weep.

“I will most likely not be normal again until at least Thanksgiving turkey” is now my favorite sentence to use in the future

“please sir” and “i will buy you expo markers” killed me

Thanksgiving turkey and the casual love you bye killed me dead